Nightmare

This early morning I woke up with a start. I had had a nightmare

This is how it goes…

An angel came visiting me and said my time in this world is over and I need to go.

I looked at my husband beside me and thought, “ he will get by without me”. Then went to look at my daughter and thought, “ She needed me a little longer. But she has her father to take care of her. She will be fine”.

I told the angel to wait while I packed my bag and before he could say anything I rushed into my den to pack a few things for my onward journey. I quickly packed my things and came back. The angel looked at my big bag queerly and said that I couldn’t carry stuff.
What?  Yes. I couldn’t carry any stuff !!!

I looked at him pleadingly and begged him to allow me take my sketch book, colors, brushes and pen.

NO !

A few pieces of cloth, thread and needle ?

NO !!

My crochet hook and a small ball of yarn ?

NO !!!

Just scissors to make me feel at home ?

NO !!!! 

What will I do with my hands in heaven ? I don’t play the harp !!!

My goodness death is indeed scary.

I woke up with a start, went into my den. I was so relieved to see all my craft stuff in place….

Insecurities of an artist

I have not studied art formally. Thus I feel a bit at a disadvantage when creating something. When you have not learned the principles of color, form, dimensions etc, you are not sure if what you are making is really good, average or just plain bad !

During the past 5 years, I tried various art and craft forms. In the times when anything you do goes on social networking sites, I was also tempted to share all that I made on Facebook. Most often than not, I received huge compliments for what I had made. However, it was never clear if the compliments were just kindhearted encouragement from close friends or a real measure of the quality of my work. Thus, I wasn’t sure of what I was doing. For that matter, after 5 years of making and selling art, I am still quite unsure of myself.

So, is it right to have misgivings about your work ?

I listened to several TED talks, read blogs of artists (both schooled and unschooled), to find out if other people felt the same misgivings that I do. While, there was nothing conclusive, one thing was sure…. The most content and happy artists, just created. There was brilliant work and then some stuff I couldn’t understand.

The crux was that they were making. They were creating without seeking approval. They were creating without wondering if the work would sell. They were creating without wondering what they would do with the stuff, if it didn’t sell. These were the very questions that were haunting me all this time.

This realisation suddenly cleared all the cobwebs in my mind. It felt as if I had received a new lease of life as an artist. This was a self discovery. I like creating things that do not have any practical use. I like creating without a premeditated plan of what it is going to be.

Result…. Most of the times awful stuff, but sometimes I do love the final output. This may not be a great lesson for most, but works for me.

Today I am happy with myself J

Life is full of magical moments

Life is full of magical moments. In our busy lives we miss them in a blink. A little bird singing outside the window early in the morning, a meek smile from a shy child, strains of an old song that can be heard from a distance, beautiful pattern made by a tree’s shadow, remembering your first crush, I could go on and on….

For me the most magical moments are the moments when I create something. After over a decade working in the corporate sector, I suddenly discovered the world of art and craft. It has been like a whirl wind romance filled with colors, glass, brushes, fabrics, paper, beads, craft supplies… Since the past three years there has been no looking back. Every day is like a new adventure, something to look forward to. Every night when going to bed my head is buzzing with ideas for tomorrow.

Pixie Dust is an attempt to capture these moments in my life. Share random thoughts, learnings, art and techniques.